Bustah-Woof!

Er, anyway. I’m holding it together. Just worried about the damn election mostly.

She could tell it was Verizon’s fault because the stalker kept calling her, asking, 'Can you hear me now?"

You want a US president with a greater appetite for Russian dictator penis.

Take your time, Mark III Zucker-borg. I’m in no rush for you to screw up yet another web site with your ads and your propaganda.

Hold it in place, Tim, and I’ll get my hammer.

Fire photon torpedoes!

A chatbot that needs to mind its own damn business, I say.

That just sounds like an even scarier prehistoric version of Donald Trump. “Unga bunga! Me Make Poland great again!”

Unfortunately, the vast storehouse of information on Reddit makes it impossible to remove it from your life completely. Of course, a lot of that was built up before the douchebag decided to kill third party apps and tell Reddit users that they didn’t really matter that much to him. You mean the people whose comments built your site brick by brick? Okay, sure. Why would they be important?

If I’m that unimportant to you, I can be unimportant elsewhere.

Hey, I’m over here in Methadone Reddit, getting by. It’s not as fun as Reddit used to be, but after the bug-eyed lemur boy decided to be a leading tech giant™ and fuck over his users in the process, I decided it was time to amscray. Sorry, King Julien. It was fun for a while, before your embarrassing power trip, but now you’re just going to have to kiss my mad-ass-gasgar.

“Israel carpet bombs journalists. Is it anti-semitic to complain that we were burned to a crisp by an out of control, self-described strongman coddled by the rest of the free world? We explore both sides of this controversial issue, not-quite-live on location in Purgatory.”

Just stay away, oooooh!
S-s-stadia!

On the plus side, with Gemini, it’s always buy one, get one free!

“Your Seamen have all died.” What are you, my urologist?

Adulterated sounds like the exact opposite of extra virgin.

It’s especially great when they do something that’s completely off the walls crazy. Michael Dorn played a screaming dwarf in the Billy and Mandy episode “Here There Be Dwarves,” who went mad after centuries of mushroom farming and exacted his revenge by invading the Keebler elves’ hollow tree. Then R. Lee Ermey pops up to censor the carnage and the dwarves and elves compromise by making mushroom cookies, and Billy does karaoke. That show was so delightfully warped and random sometimes.

I can’t wait for Commander Data’s Greatest Love Songs collection. He sings with such soullessness!

That might work… if I hadn’t already switched over to Firefox! Charade you are, Google asswipes!

It was morally bankrupt shortly after Seth McFarlane left too long under a heat lamp took over. In addition to all his other failings, Elon looks like McFarlane jerky.

Kiss… coming soon to a Chuck E. Cheese near you!