it’s not a controversial take to say a message’s tone affects how it’s taken. could you explain why it’s so difficult for you to hear the request “could you be nice”?
or do you genuinely believe a message’s tone doesn’t affect how it’s received? because if so, i’ve been wasting a lot of effort on being nice to you, myself :p (that’s a joking tone, because it’s almost certainly not going to be obvious)
you can explain all of that and be nice about it, you don’t need to assume that people’s motivation is to “get theirs”. like you say, most people have grown up with several decades of propaganda, it’s not their fault they see unions as bad. it takes time to undo that stuff and it’s hard enough as it is without assuming their motivations or blaming them for something they had no control over
you’re not wrong, but you are being unnecessarily antagonistic, and i would appreciate it if you didn’t push people against unionizing by being antagonistic about it. it’s hard enough to get a union going without shaming people for not doing it sooner
people are already suffering at the hands of capitalism. you don’t need to throw it in their face. and, y’know, maybe some people from the game industry browse lemmy. it’s almost like they’re probably just people like the rest of us
based
also i’m sorry, having done a similar journey
me too, thanks for writing this so i didn’t have to
we need unions and unions need better protections than “can’t prevent layoffs”. unions need to make these painful for the company too
original i think https://www.deviantart.com/ptimm/art/A-New-Link-to-the-Past-551041132
at least explains why three inches seem to be cut off the bottom
i think this picture is a reasonably good illustration of what’s going on https://imgur.io/rsUha?r
i think this is relatively normal and probably the pelvic tilt thing the other poster mentioned. i checked with a transfemme friend and she told me the biggest thing she did was get a new chair that worked with how her body wanted to sit now. she also tries to get up and stretch / walk around more often
aside from those things, you can take over the counter painkillers or try heat on the area, but some of it will just be riding it out, i think
you know, i feel like you were very heavily affected by being called out about this comment. i’m not sure i fully understand why, but it seems like the accusation of being a dick and being aphobic really bothered you. and you are certainly correct that they could have more clearly (and nicely) worded their intention check. it would have been nice for them to have said something like, “hey, your comment is coming off kind of aphobic to me, could you clarify your intentions?” instead
i think, the trouble with flippant comments on the internet, is that (without a lot of extra work), you have a pretty hard time ensuring that your comments are interpreted correctly. i think we can agree that this is largely a misunderstanding, right? at least, by how much you’ve emphasizing reading comprehension, i hope we can agree on this
and i don’t think they were misinterpreting it at you. does that make sense? like, i think their intention was fairly straightforward (“i don’t want to allow what is possibly aphobia without calling it out”). again, they could have worded it in a clearer and kinder way. but i think that intention, at its heart, is a decent one. i don’t believe their intention was like, “i’m going to misinterpret this on purpose to antagonize you”
and i’m not trying to make you come off as a bastard here. i empathize with you a lot, it sucks to make an offhand comment and have it blow up into a shitstorm like this. it’s ass, and i’ve been there before. a lot
honestly that’s why i’m writing this, because in retrospect, i wish someone had told me to chill the fuck out (directed at my past self, not you)
the other reason i’m writing this, and the reason i’m not writing to the commenter, is because you are the one who signed up for a site whose only rule is “be(e) nice”
i can tell you’re actually genuinely trying here, and i want to recognize that, and also say that you can do better
“i’m being nicer than i could be” is such a shitty, self-destructive path to go down. this is the same shit parents use to justify abusing their kids in different ways than they were abused growing up, only to look back and realize in horror that what they were doing was still abusive
the rule is not “be(e) nice when someone is nice to you”
the rule is “be(e) nice”
and i hope you believe that you can do it. i know it’s fucking hard. i know it takes so much restraint. i’m lucky that a lot of my worst bullshit was on reddit and it’s been nuked since the migration. it’s taken years for me to get to the point where i get a spicy reply and don’t go full aggro on their ass in response. but i did it and you can do it, too
and i think that’s so important to develop. not just for others, but for yourself. i think signing up for beehaw says something about you, that you value kindness and you want to be better at it. that you want to be a person who gets a spicy reply and can still treat it with reasonable intentions. that you don’t want to perpetuate the cycle of people endlessly escalating arguments on the internet
if you need help, i’m happy to help. if you want to throw a draft my way for a first pass, go for it. if you need anger management techniques, i got em. i believe in you and i’m happy to put my money where my mouth is in terms of supporting you
anyways, i hope something in my long ass post reaches you. i hope you can tell, i really genuinely don’t want this for you
oh, and just to make it clear: i’m not advocating for letting yourself get walked on. but you can definitely stand up for yourself and be kind about it at the same time
game developers need to unionize yesterday
i actually had the same reservations, but as i thought about it more, i think stray actually makes more sense as a movie. that way you can give the cat more personality and drive, rather than trying to capitalize on people’s desires to be a cat and do cat things. the game really shoehorns in the narrative, especially past the first half. it would have worked better with a more personified creature imo, since the game really ends up being driven by the narrative rather than the whimsy of the player (which is what i would have expected from a game whose focus was on doing cat things)
so i’m demisexual and i know that because 1) i can identify what sexual attraction feels like in myself and 2) i understand that my baseline for sexual attraction is different from what’s considered allosexual
however, i feel like i can’t really say the same for romantic attraction. i’m not sure, i think i can identify how it feels within myself. but i don’t really know what’s considered baseline. the question i’d really like answered is, what’s an alloromantic’s experience like? do they get butterflies and blushy feelings by just looking at someone? maybe i’m demiromantic as well, but it seems like a rare® experience among people i know than being allosexual is
another (interesting, albeit unlikely) possibility is that being demiromantic is more common than being alloromantic. again, it’s unlikely, but i enjoy the thought experiment of the demi-side of the spectrum being more populated than the allo side. what if the aro side of the spectrum was more populated? it’s just interesting to consider what we take for granted and how much we can assume it’s true
hey, fellow cowbee. i feel like your tongue in cheek comment could have been clearer about being tongue in cheek, especially since you had at least three people read it and pause (two commenters and myself)
i appreciate you were trying to be glib, but it’s not always obvious to everyone on the internet. it might be worth clarifying that in your posts going forward to avoid these sorts of misunderstandings (e.g. adding a /s or “just to be clear, this is tongue in cheek”)
you’re accusing the commenter of needing to take a deep breath, but i feel like you could honestly take that same advice. you’re really coming off as needlessly combative here, but as far as i can tell, you’re the one who signed up for the instance where the core tenet is “be(e) nice”. if that means something to you, i think you really ought to consider whether or not you’re representing that with your posts
for those in america, CWA, Communication Workers of America, is a union that’s trying to reach out to the developers in the game industry
yeah having read the thread, i’m inclined to agree you come across as someone trying to pick a fight, when you have a semantic disagreement with them at most
i understand that you found what they wrote triggering and harmful, but i don’t think you were very kind with your posts. i feel like, in your haste to protect trans people, you were not considerate of the human being you were actually speaking to
i know you’re not a member of beehaw, but you’re posting it to our instance, so that’s the standard i’m applying
if you had empathized with them (her?) that they sometimes need a space where they can just be a person, instead of being trans (or a woman or however abigail identifies), they (she?) might have been more receptive to your point
it also would have helped if you had been direct to the point - for example: “hey, would you mind saying “i don’t like debates around my fundamental rights to exist” (or whatever alternative) as opposed to saying “i don’t like politics”? this way you still allow space for discussion of important matters related to human rights, while clearly communicating what it is you dislike” (this is my best understanding of your point, but hopefully you can see how to tailor it to better represent what you truly want to express)
as it is, you spent like five posts nitpicking semantics when you knew what was intended and could have just directly stated what you disagreed with
and if you didn’t know, well… i guess this is a reminder that words don’t mean the same thing to everyone, and your definitions aren’t necessarily more valid than someone else’s
ultimately, you were argumentative with someone who was absolutely not advocating for transphobia, and policing someone’s language without even making the barest effort to engage with what they were actually saying. in both the original poster’s position, and in the admin’s position, i completely get why they reacted how they did
i don’t personally agree with your point, but i hope these recommendations help you more clearly communicate it, and foster healthier interactions about it, in the future
in a week, my friend. on the 24th
i agree the incentive would need to be there, but given existing character creation technology, i don’t think the bar is as high as you think it would be. at least as far as strictly implementation is concerned
that said, you have big ideas and i like them and i hope you continue sharing them
it doesn’t touch on transition or related things, afaik, aside from allowing you to freely select both your appearance and your genitals (afaik). so it’s hard to say what it has or doesn’t have available
that said, i feel like… you lose something with “perfect” transition. for example, in a world where you could remove breast tissue without scarring, i might still have a double mastectomy, because my transness is part of who i am. obviously, there are people who would love to have that, and that’s great for them and they’re not less trans for it. but i think there’s a beauty in “imperfect” transition
i feel odd about feeling this way, though. almost certainly, medicine and technology will progress to the point where trans people will be indistinguishable from cis people. and i’m sure, at that point, these ideas will be considered backwards or coping or whatever…
anyways. i guess this is a long winded way to say, pathfinder/2e may have the nicer and more expedient options, but they’re also maybe not as interesting
thank you, i appreciate that. i’m one of those people trying to make it happen